you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
