Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
