First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
