I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
