Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
