Sponge bath it is.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize