So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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