The maid of honor just puked.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
