ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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