Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
