u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
