I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
