Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
