I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize