does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just cropdusted the office
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
