Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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