Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
