I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
