And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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