She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
