I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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