I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
