Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
