he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
