Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
