Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
