I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
