Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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