I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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