So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
