I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
