Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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