"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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