I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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