I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
