operation harelip BJ is a go
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
