I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
