So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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