Buhtt sex?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You did what with his pubic hair?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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