ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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