he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize