her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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