I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
