All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
