Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
