You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
