end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
