Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
