He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
