If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
