How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
