tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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