also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
