and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
