im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
