sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
