***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
