Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
