Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
