Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
