I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
